A decade of freelancing has almost left me numb to the usual ups and downs that come with the territory. There are many like me out there who have their own story, and yet, we share a collective one. In the case of transparency, many started blogging as a means to relay the challenges and rewards of this type of employ. I took up meditation.
Downtime means no money. Everyone is allergic to the words no money.
No Money Allergy
Freelancing and remote work has the freedom advantage. Due to the often financial uncertainty of freelancing, many juggle between three to as much as five, even seven to ten contracts at a time. Some contracts are short-term while others are longer. The degree of complexity of work various from one contract to the other and often from week to week. The perceived freedom of time tricks one into taking on a bit too much and it doesn’t take long to realize that there is no time for downtime. Besides, downtime means no money. Everyone is allergic to the words no money, especially Freelancers.
Perhaps, if one were to incorporate meditation early on as part of a daily practice, one would realize sooner that they’ve embarked on a path to future burnout. Interestingly, that’s what happened to me.
you’re you used to be like me and can relate to being without a stop or slow down button then you know what this mode of operation can do to one’s mental, physical, and emotional health. It’s not a pretty picture. Some people termed this state as an act of greed. I had to self check myself on that. It only took mere minutes for me to realize that greed wasn’t the motivating factor. Eviction, calls from creditors and collection agencies, loss of power, and fear of no wifi were on point reasons.
More Contracts – The Wild Card Variable
Freelancing is definitely a numbers game. The more manageable contracts you can juggle should mean a somewhat stable safety net for monthly income coming in. The key word in the previous sentence is more. However, more becomes one of those mathematical variables that’s dependent on other variables.
[More Contracts – (Late Payments + No Payments) = Stable Income/Month]
Healing The Fear of No Money Thru Meditation
Here’s one for transparency. Things started going awry in my freelance career towards the end of 2015. The following year presented a number of challenges and once 2017 arrived, I found myself on the freelance road most travelled – Interstate Holy Crap that was renamed Money Depletion Drive.
How did I end up on this path? Well let’s see. Three clients failed to pay me and I took on three semi-large startup projects whose financial rewards depended on work upfront. For all these, I take full responsibility. I only adapted this state of mind after realizing that frustration, resentment, anger, self pity, and guilt were spawning feelings of lack of confidence, lack of good judgement, and the infamous -> fear. That’s when I turned to meditation.
The Abundant Life Mantra
I returned to meditation and yoga in early 2018, after an 11 year hiatus. This time around I’ve noticed that my intent and experience has been most fulfilling. Continuing with Hatha Yoga, deeper meditation, mantras and incorporating Kundalini Shakti, I’ve noticed a great change in my perception of the world around me and of my “self”. I’ve become a lot more sensitive to vibrations and frequencies and especially my egos. It’s quite the experience getting to observe an ego in action, while I remain conscious of the fact that my true self sits silently and divinely within.
The Abundant Life Mantra is more of a deeper knowing thru breath and staying centered within.
These practices have lead me to consciously and actively live out what I call The Abundant Life Mantra. To let go of emotions and thoughts that do not serve a positive purpose to my being. To make the effort to be consciously and actively aware that I live and breathe the abundance of all things that serves a higher purpose. It’s about feeling and knowing that every cell in my body is connected to a divine power in where I am a co-creator. The Abundant Life Mantra is more of a deeper knowing thru breath and staying centered within.
I’ll share more in other posts.